Received msg from mun yee at 7.34pm last night, read msg by 8.00pm. The content of the msg was
"Salam semua. Al fatihah untuk allahyarham prof senin b. hassan. Ketua Jabatan Fizik. Tlg sebarkan pada semua - pn. hazmin."
Wandering what's the meaning of the content, but my sense tell me that something bad happened to him. So, asked yen to read the msg and try to understand it. Both also guess the same thing, either something bad happened or ask us to pray for him. Checked internet to find out the meaning, the result of searching was something bad too, but still not confirm about the meaning of the msg. Got the real answer when rainie is back to home. What a unpredictable incident, although we knew that his in ward so oftenly and got health prob.
Yesterday night was planned to celebrate angeline's birthday. Since it's planned aledi, so we have to go as we promised aledi. Changed to long pants just in case have to rush to hospital to give last respect to prof.
The feeling is so heavy although celebrating birthday should be in the happy mood, at least. Kept thinking back all those memory with prof in the way go for secret recipe to have dinner together as a celebration to angeline's birthday. Tears drop uncontrolable.....
Tried to control my feeling as i duwan to spoil the environment of celebration. Everyone is understanding and no one mentioned about that matter when we reached. Although heart is feeling sad, but i think everyone is trying to pose a happy face just to make the environment not getting worst.
Enjoyed the dinner, but actually really do not have the appetite to eat the food and cake. At last got mentioned about prof. senin also. Just a brief chatting about his news.
Reached home and discussed with rainie whether got any updated news from the coursemates. The malays said will go to his house and his funeral on tmr, 9.45am, finally got the chance to see prof for the very last time.
Before go to bed, really think a lot about prof. senin. The last time i msg prof. was 04 Nov 08. I msg him.....
" Hi, prof. Will prof. be at campus tmr?"
He replied,
"I now in ward.... * missing words-cannot remember*"
My replied,
"Oh... Hope prof. will recover soon.... Will look for prof. next time"
He replied,
"Ok."
There is no next time anymore.
And the last time i met prof. was 30 oct 08. I msg prod. before i go to meet prof. He didn't replied my msg, then i called prof. Prof. said he will be around in campus by the time we reached the campus. Never tot that day was the last time to see prof ..... He asked me to buy a bottle of mineral water to him, cause he have to take medicine. I didn't feel anything, cause it's normal for an old man to have medicine. That day, he gave me a mandarin orange too.... And the mandarin orange was eaten by me, san san and yen. Mandarin orange-the last food he gave to me. That day, he told me about the essay will be come out in final paper too..... He tried to ask yen lin go out first, just to tell me the topic of the essay. This is not the first time he told me about the hint of the test. That day, received his call too. Cause he only received my msg after i met him, he tot i need him to fetch me home, because i told him that i have to ask ppl to fetch me go to campus, i got transport problem. I think seldom got lecturer will call the student just by receiving the msg or missed call.....
I think he trusted me a lot. I'm helped him to do the test 2 for our subject, find out the answers of the questions too. He let me know 100% about the content of the test, allowed me to save a copy when i finished typing the paper, but i rejected it,i don't think that i need to do so cause i can remember the questions. By the way how he treat me, i believed that i am something different from other students.
That's y i really feel so sad when i knew he is passed away.
Sad - because he is one of the lecturer who teach me this semester.
Sad - because he is my head of physical sciences department.
Sad - because he is my supervior of final year project.
Sad - because he really treat me so good.
This is very very very very the sad.
Attended his funeral today. Reached his house at 10 something, but at that time, they want to send his body to another place aledi. So, we rushed back to car and follow them go to the place. Tears drop uncontrolable again.
Reached the place. Tried so hard to control the tears, but it's still drop without my notice. Told by yee chuan that malay do not like to see ppl crying..... That time really tried very hard to control the tears. Had enough determination that i promised no tears will be drop once i step in the place to bury his body. Watched them bury his body and pray. Saw some of the ppl have tears in their eyes- including dr. ikmar.
Went to campus after attending the funeral, cause got something have to deal with the final year project. Met En. Ghapur, discussed about our supervisor and the final year project. Will be supervised by him for the short while..... We all felt sad too when touching the topic related to prof.
Rainie and i chat about prof. senin while waiting for san san and yen lin to draw money from bank. Rainie said the thing that she remembered the most about prof. senin was during our last lecture. She asked who will be the one who marking our final paper. Prof. said will be him, but he did prepared the answers just in case he cannot mark the paper. Now this really came true, he really knot mark our paper by himself and also go to the hall to see us sitting for his paper on 11 Nov 08. 2 days to go, i will try my best to score in this paper.....
I still want him to be my supervisor, although he didn't helped much in my project. But he will helped me to call ppl once i need help and helped me check the spelling and gramma of my proposal.
I still want to see him once again, although he is always smiling like 40k look, it's much better campared that now knot see him anymore.
I still remember he purposely went to the office just to say hi to me, switch off the air-cond just because of i got running nose, able to remember my name and always called out my name at first.
I want him to sign in my thesis and congratulate me during my convocation on next year. I want him to teach us on next semester too.
I still hope to see prof. once again, i still hope to listen to his voice, i do not want the last word i got from him was just "OK".
Prof always said to me, " Bee Kee, you kan pandai, boleh buat, kan?". Ya, i can do it. I will put 100% effort in my final year project. With your blessing and encouragement, i will try my best to complete my final year project. Promised!
May Prof. Senin b. Hassan rest in peace.
-blueberry of the post-
-appreciated everyone which is surrounding around you, you would not know what will happen in the next second-
